I’m not well now, just now at 10.44 pm, went to clinic with brother. We got home at 11.32 pm. My whole body felt weak and heavy, even breathing hurted my lungs. I sat on my chair watching the clock ticking, alone in room. Tears rolled through my cheeks, to chin. I held the book that was given by my late dad, and some old cds that was also given by him. He was probably the only reason, why I am so strong now. The hardship I’d gone through without him by my side ever since I was 15 made me a mature man. I took some of the medicine and swallowed it with water while holding the book in my grasp. At one moment, I glanced at the table. I felt some heat running in my veins. Deep within, it felt hell inside, waiting its moment to burst an intense flames to burn me. It felt bad and I think I was getting much worse than last time. In all these pains, I came to have visions of her again. I put on the desktop, went to shoutbox. but they were gone. It was late, I cant blame them for it.