I’m not well now, just now at 10.44 pm, went to clinic with brother. We got home at 11.32 pm. My whole body felt weak and heavy, even breathing hurted my lungs. I sat on my chair watching the clock ticking, alone in room. Tears rolled through my cheeks, to chin. I held the book that was given by my late dad, and some old cds that was also given by him. He was probably the only reason, why I am so strong now. The hardship I’d gone through without him by my side ever since I was 15 made me a mature man. I took some of the medicine and swallowed it with water while holding the book in my grasp. At one moment, I glanced at the table. I felt some heat running in my veins. Deep within, it felt hell inside, waiting its moment to burst an intense flames to burn me. It felt bad and I think I was getting much worse than last time. In all these pains, I came to have visions of her again. I put on the desktop, went to shoutbox. but they were gone. It was late, I cant blame them for it.

  Earlier, some of friends really thought that I was a player since I’d coupled with my ex and her sister at the same time. But truth is, I started to do this after she stabbed me bleeding by having another guy and the masqueraded demon who stabbed me with her is my close friend. I was at lost at that moment and shed tears upon knowing the truth, but still kept a smile for others in order to avoid them to know how my real feelings looks like especially her.

  But it got uglier, my situation was worsened by keeping it deep within. I started to treat all those girls who was only kept at bay by the boundaries of friend before, to the extent of calling with sweet names and got intimate with all of them. 2 and half weeks after that, I went to her house for chinese new year celebration. That was where it all began, I got to knows her jie (sister) and from that moment we got closer and closer and started dating. It was more like, revenge…it wasn’t something I wish. Now all that had ended, but the scar remains.